Absent
by AwesomeMango
Summary: Just a small drabble. Kaito is absent today. Meiko wonders why. She decides to find out for herself by visiting him. But is the news she hears what she wanted?
1. Chapter 1

The fact that he was absent that day made my stomach do flips. What could have happened? Why wasn't he here? He was always here; he has never _ever _missed a day of school. Ever since kindergarten, he had perfect attendance. But then it was December and there was a high chance of getting sick. So, shooing the thought away, I tried to concentrate on the English teacher's dull lecture.

When lunch came, I tried calling him. I know, I know! 'But Meiko, you're not supposed to be using cell phones during school hours!' Well, I do what I want when I want.

After three unsuccessful calls, I gave up. He must be really sick to not answer a perfectly beautiful lady.

I continued the day with a heavy heart. I just knew something was wrong.

But I can't quite figure it out.

. . .

"Meiko? Meiko! Are you even listening?"

My friend, a blonde girl with big doe eyes named Rin, snapped me out of my trance. We were at the subway, waiting behind the yellow line for the train to come. I blinked.

"Actually, no." I replied. "I don't know guys; I'm just sort of worried. Kaito didn't show up today. And he didn't answer my calls."

"Oh, just shake it off. The guy obviously has a bad fever." Rin observed her cuticles, disinterested. But I knew well how she felt – Kaito was like a brother to her; she was as worried as I was.

"That's so mean," my other friend, a young girl with teal-dyed twin tails (a.k.a. Miku), replied. "Kaito-senpai would be very upset with that reply!"

"Like I care." But the falter of her voice told otherwise.

"Guys, do you think I should visit him?" I asked. "He's in the same apartment as I am, after all."

"Go crazy," replied Rin, waving her hand flippantly. "Tell me how it goes."

"Totally!" chirped Miku. "Oh, take some dumplings on the way home. They're his second favorite food aside from ice cream!"

I smiled. "Okay."

. . .

I walked towards my apartment building, the white plastic bag of freshly brought dumplings and fried rice swishing against my thigh. Alright, Meiko. This is it – you're going to confront him. It's nothing big, absolutely _nothing _big. Just say, 'Heard you were sick. Brought some dumplings to make you feel better.' Then maybe smack him a little for not answering your calls.

As I entered the old worn-out building, my heart started thumping. I was so close to meeting him. It will be like old times when Kaito got sick in summer – me visiting him and reading him books until he falls asleep, maybe even watching a little television.

Books! I should have brought books. But by the time I realized this, I was already in front of his door. Well, too late now.

I took a deep breath. "It's going to be okay, Meiko," I whispered to myself. "It's going to be okay."

But why is there a part of me that told me, "No, don't! It's not going to be okay; don't open that door!"

Slowly, reluctantly, I brought my fist in front of the door. The gold-painted plate number seemed to taunt me.

_Knock, knock. _

I stood there, holding tightly onto the strap of the plastic bag in my hands. This is it. The moment has finally arrived.

It took a while before someone opened the door. His mom was the one who answered. Her eyes were tinted red and bloodshot. Her hair was a tousled mess. She had bags under her eyes.

"Hey, Mrs. Shion, I came here to visit Kaito. He didn't come to school today." I lifted the bag of dumplings, just enough so she could see it. "I brought him something to eat."

Mrs. Shion burst into tears. I blinked. Her sobs were loud and raw.

"H-Hey, Mrs. Shion, you okay?" I reach out to touch her, but she lifts a hand of disapproval. She looks up, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Meiko, he's dead. He hung himself in his room."


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: This was originally supposed to be a one shot, but I'll add this chapter since the ending wasn't that satisfactory. Of course, why he died won't be revealed since that's up to you, my dear readers!_

It's been three days since his death. Those three, miserable, numb days seemed to pass by slowly. Is this how depression feels? I don't know, I've never had depression. My mother and father took care of me well; school work was always so easy too. There was nothing to feel depressed about until now.

"Meiko, there's mail for you!" my mother said, right outside my bedroom door.

Mail? Who sends mail these days? It's always email. No one bothers to send mail unless it's some parcel.

"Slide it under the door," I replied.

She did as she was told and slide the pale slip under the small opening between the door and the floor.

"If you're hungry, please tell me. You haven't been eating these past few days and it worries me." There was a pause. "I love you."

I don't reply. I just get up from my bed and walk over to the letter. Kaito had told me once he loved me. Last year, he confessed his love to me. But I wasn't ready for a relationship so I told him: "If you can wait until I feel ready, then you'll be the first guy I'd date."

Shouldn't that mean something to him? Shouldn't that give him a little motivation to keep on _living_?

I lift up the envelope and check who it's from.

_To: Meiko Sakine_

_ Fr: Kaito Shion _

I nearly drop the envelope. It's from Kaito!? How is that possible? He's. . . He's dead! Is this. . . a prank? I saw him dead three days ago, hanging from the ceiling like an old doll. I checked so myself. So how?

I need to know.

I go over to my closet and rummage through my clothes. I find my big, brown coat at the back. Kaito gave it to me as a present when we were little. He told me we could play detective with it, despite its huge size.

I slide into my coat and button it. It's surprising how much I grew. Before, the sleeves were double my arms and it looked more like a dress than a coat.

Then I exit through the door. It's been a while since I last got out. It's probably going to be my last. I don't want to deal with any of this anymore. I just want to stay in my room and stare at the ceiling – nothing more, nothing less.

"Mom, I'm going out for a little bit." I say as I pass my mom in the living room.

"Y-You're going out?" She gets up from the couch, looking rather surprised. "That's good! Uh, where are you going? Do you want to go alone? I can come with you if you want—"

"I'm going to Mrs. Shion's house."

That shut her up.

". . . Bye." I say before sliding into my slippers. "I'll see you whenever."

Then I walk out.

. . .

Mrs. Shion is a wreck. She's still in her pajamas and her blue hair looked like a bird's nest. She must have cried earlier because her face was blotchy and her eyes were red.

"Yes, Meiko? What do you need?"

I bring up the letter to her. "What is the meaning of this?"

She stares at the letter for a moment. Her expression seems a little off, like she was trying to remember a faraway memory. "Oh. That. I found a letter in his room addressed to me. I read it and it said to send those letters to everyone he's known. I'm sorry, did it bring terrible memories?"

I shook my head. "It's okay. If that's what he wants, I'll read it. But can I please read it inside here? My mom would freak if I suddenly burst out crying in my bedroom; I'm loud when it comes to sobbing."

Mrs. Shion nods and steps aside to let me in. I take off my slippers, placing it to the side, and enter.

It's still the same as ever in here. It was similar to my apartment, except that there were little antiques here and there.

"Pardon the intrusion," I say, sitting down on the couch. Kaito and I used to sit on this couch and watch TV while munching on cookies. I can still remember his crumby face and greasy fingers.

I stare at the letter, hesitation welling up inside me. What could be in here? I'm afraid to know. If my instincts are right, this must be his farewell letter.

I grit my teeth and open the envelope. Inside was a loose leaf paper.

My heart beats so fast I can feel it in my fingers. Slowly, I bring out the paper and unfold it carefully. On the lines was his unique, neat handwriting.

. . .

_Dear Meiko,_

_ I'm so sorry. I messed up again, didn't I? _

_ If you received this, I'm probably dead. I know it's hard, but you'll eventually get over it. I know you can because you're so strong. You've always been strong, even when we were little. _

_ I won't go into details on why I died. I've only made these to properly say goodbye and apologize. _

_ So, I'm sorry for causing you pain. I'm sorry I died. I'm sorry I'm so selfish. _

_I'm sorry I gave up._

_But please, I beg of you, don't follow me. I'm a weakling who needed to die. You're someone strong the world needs. You're important, you're loved, and you're the best woman a man can ever have. _

_That's all I have to say. So, goodbye, my friend. Thank you for everything. _

_I love you. _

_Sincerely, _

_Kaito Shion _

. . .

By the end, I couldn't take it anymore. I was crying. I was surprised myself; I thought I had cried out every tear. But no, I still have more.

"Why did you have to die, you idiot. . .? You were supposed to be my future boyfriend. . .! Don't leave me alone like this!"

I felt a hand on my back. I looked to the side to see Mrs. Shion. She was crying too, but she had a smile on her face. "It's okay. We'll be okay."

I sniffed. "How do you know that?"

"Because he told me so." She lifted her letter. "And that's one thing Kaito is right about."

I smiled and wiped the tears away. For what seemed like forever, I smiled. It felt good.

"Of course."


End file.
